Hero or Villain?
While I don’t enjoy most reality television, I somehow got sucked into watching the latest season of Married At First Sight. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is right in the title. Two complete strangers are thrown into a marriage with each other and we get to watch how they manage it. There’s obviously more nuance to it– the people are matched based on compatibility assessments and they’re coached by relationship experts along the way. But I think what I found fascinating is that by cutting out the dating and engagement period where people are putting on the façade of their best self, you quickly reveal someone’s true nature.
There was a character on the show– and I say “character” because the cameras, producers and editors showed us a limited and stylized version of this person– who very early on revealed herself to be a “villain” of sorts. Her name is Allison and if you’ve seen the show, you know exactly who I’m talking about. From the moment after the wedding to a seemingly very sweet, albeit a bit dorky, Chris, we could see a change come over her. She went from excitement to be married, to disappointed and downright icy. The more Chris tried to talk to her and get to know her, the more she shut him down. By the end of their wedding party, she was already talking to the show’s producers about different sleeping arrangements.
Now, one might expect that the spark of romance isn’t there from the beginning in these situations– they’re strangers after all. And I’m sure occasionally, there are individuals who just are not suited for each other, no matter what the compatibility assessments and experts say. This seemed like the case for poor Chris and Allison. One could not be blamed if they just decided to call it off right then and there. No hard feelings.
But that’s not what happened. For some reason, Allison decided that even though she had no interest in Chris, she wanted to remain on the show. She was fine with going on the honeymoon for an all expenses paid trip to a tropical beach somewhere, but Chris could get nowhere in his efforts to build any kind of relationship with her. And worse, she frequently lied and mischaracterized their conversations with show producers and the other participants. And after the honeymoon, she wanted to alternate weeks alone in the rented apartment that the show was giving them for the purposes of building their bond as a couple. As far as cynical marriages of convenience go, it was one of the most blatant and well-documented.
So what does this teach us about writing? One thing that struck me as we watched this slow motion train wreck, was that Allison was constantly voicing her concerns about how she would be portrayed on the show itself. She’d say things like “You’re going to make me look like a monster.” and “I’m not a bad person.” Reality TV magic aside, there was plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise.
I’m not a bad person. It’s such an interesting and psychologically revealing phrase. It’s what we say when we’re trying to convince ourselves of something we know isn’t true. It’s not an apology, it’s a justification. It’s an attempt to override the cognitive dissonance between our head and heart that knows something is off. After all, we are ingrained to believe as Mary McCarthy once said “we are all the hero of our own story.”
But what if we’re the villain in someone else’s story? What happens when serving our own interests becomes antagonistic to another person? Do we honestly always choose the right thing to do? These kinds of questions are important to consider when you’re trying to write well-rounded characters. It’s more than just giving your hero a flaw or your villain a redeeming quality. We have to see our characters as dimensional and ultimately with an inherent belief that they are good– whatever ‘good’ means to them.
I’m sure Allison saw her actions as justified. She may not have been intentionally acting like a villain toward Chris– merely seeking her own interests– but the results were the same. Something to consider as you write your characters.
