How to say “it sucks”, but in a nice way
Unless you’re swaggering around with Kayne levels of confidence– (confidence?... yeah, we’ll go with that for now)-- you’ll probably want to get feedback on your work. And if there’s one thing that creative people love, it’s hearing about all the ways that their beautiful creation is actually a big stinkeroo. I’m being facetious, of course, but in all seriousness there is something critical about having other people read your work and ask questions and point out areas that could be improved. Let’s talk about both getting and giving feedback to someone on their work.
First, let’s start with the receiving end of it. Finding those people you’re willing to share your early work with is big, and having them be willing to share their honest criticisms with you is a gift. Treasure these people. Remember that their time is valuable too and so are their brain cycles. Even if you agree with none of their notes (more on this later), the fact that they took the time to read your imperfect work is an act of love. Do not forget to thank them first, last and throughout.
That said, the two worst things from your reader are “It’s perfect” and “I didn’t like it and can’t say why”. Neither are helpful to us improving our story. If someone reads the work and thinks it’s a masterpiece, you have my permission to look at them through narrowed eyes and wonder if they even read your work or just don’t want to say anything bad about it. Alternatively, if they said they didn’t like it but their reasons are beyond vague, that doesn’t help either. How are you supposed to know what to change if there’s not specific, addressable notes. This is where asking questions comes in.
I’ve found the best thing to do is give your readers a short list of things to look for before they get started so they can read with the kinds of feedback in mind that will help you. Feel free to customize this any way you want to, but here’s a few prompts that I like to offer for my readers:
This took me out of the story. Something that made me stop in the middle of the narrative, for whatever reason.
I caught a mistake or plot hole. Something broken in the narrative that we missed as we’re stringing all the threads together.
What? I don’t get it. Something we’ve attempted to do with the story that just fell flat.
That guy sucks. A character (or characters) who shouldn’t be in the story. Not talking about a great villain or sniveling side character. I’m talking about someone who’s extraneous or insufferable in a way that makes the reader want to quit reading and go do their taxes.
Dumpster fire moments. These are anything that makes the reader want to throw the book across the room and never speak to you again. Hopefully you don’t have any of these in the feedback, but it’d be good to know. And it’s especially important to ask why they feel that way.
Finally, I think it’s definitely healthy to have your readers point out the good parts as well, so they’re not just picking out nothing but problems. So have them note if something made them laugh, or smile, or cheer. You want to know what’s working well too!
Let’s jump now to being on the giving side of feedback. The above list is definitely a good place to start. Remember that the point of this is to help the writer improve their story. So how best to do that?
My guiding principle is to remember that any creative endeavor is a deeply personal process. There are feelings involved and that even the most well-intentioned comment can test the tensile strength of a friendship. Here’s how I like to give notes.
Begin with a generous helping of compliments and praise. If this person is someone you care about at all, you’ll find aspects of what they’ve created and be able to elaborate on it in a complimentary way. This will work to soften the critiques you’re about to hit them with. Someone who is feeling your love will be much more receptive to the cold, hard truth bomb that’s about to drop.
Be constructive in your criticism. I once had someone tell me about a thriller story I wrote “It’s SCARY how bad this story is.” That’s a messed up thing to say to someone, and obviously it still sticks with me to this day. I don’t know if they were trying to be funny, but not only was it unhelpful as a comment, I could hardly process the rest of the notes because I was so upset. Be mindful of the person you’re giving notes to. Be as honest as you can, but bear in mind that you aren’t their adversary. You’re trying to help them write a better story. Keep your notes focused on the specific things you think they can address to improve the story. Your goal is not to make them feel bad.
Certain styles of note-giving may vary, but I try to give notes on what I think other people will also notice as they read. I don’t comment on every little detail that I take issue with. And I try to not comment on someone’s particular style of prose– unless it’s very distracting.
Helpful suggestions can be a double-edged sword. The writer in me can’t help but try to fix things in the narrative as I’m reading someone else’s work. But I have to remember that they are telling a different story than I would. While I think it’s okay to offer ideas to the writer, it’s best to throw them out as mere suggestions for direction and not try to force them to change the story based on your “great idea.” After all, you should be working on your own story.
Finally, remember to end with more praise and compliments. Your writer has just been through and ordeal and you want to reassure them that they’ll be alright. Don’t forget to pepper your praise for great moments in the story throughout as you go.
Hopefully this was all helpful to you as you not only seek feedback for your work, but give notes to other writers in your life.
