Some thoughts on Jaren
Hello Dear Reader!
Today I want to talk about Jaren. I’ve been spending some time recently plotting some of the events for the sequel to A Songbird’s Tale, and thinking about how Jaren’s character will evolve. So I figured I might share those thoughts out loud with you all.
Jaren. Artwork commissioned from Hunter Bonyun, one of my all-time favorite artists. <3
* Spoilers for A Songbird’s Tale ahead! *
In A Songbird’s Tale Jaren is the most reluctant of heroes. And if you are familiar with elements of the hero’s journey, you will notice that he refuses the call hard. Jaren does not want anything to do with adventures. And for good reason, though I don’t reveal exactly why until much later in the book.
This poses some problems. Jaren can be really hard to like. He’s pretty salty at times, he’s bossy, he’s stand-offish, he talks down to Songbird, and in general acts like going on an adventure is the worst thing in the entire world to happen to him. Jaren does not start out the book as a very likable protagonist. And usually you want to have a likable protagonist, that’s a huge part of what hooks your reader and helps them keep reading. You need readers to be invested in your hero. And even though the book is called A Songbird’s Tale, it’s really, truly, about Jaren’s character arc. So why have such a surly and moody protagonist?
True to form, I did get some feedback about Jaren being a rather nasty and dislikable protagonist from some reviewers, specifically a paid review service, whose name I will not mention and whose services I will never use again, but that’s a different post. Regardless, I stand by my decision to have written him the way I did. Jaren is not a perfect hero. He is a human, with human faults and struggles. Jaren has severe PTSD and survivor’s guilt. He’s a broken man at the start of the story and has to work very hard to overcome those set-backs in order to save the day.
Jaren was a soldier. If you know any combat veterans, then you may know the effect that this can have on someone. Further, after Jaren left military service and entered his monster hunting days, the most unthinkable thing happened. Jaren witnessed what was basically a total party kill. His brother, his sister-in-law, and his best friend all wiped out in horrific ways at the hands of fanatic cultists and a demon. Worse, as the party leader, Jaren feels like their deaths are his fault, and is haunted by his guilt.
A Songbird’s Tale was my debut novel. I’m sure once I’m ten novels into my career, I’ll look back and see all the ways I could have portrayed his PTSD, Survivor’s guilt, and other mental health struggles in a better way, but for now, I’m proud of myself for making the attempt to show these feelings in a raw, and real way, even if that makes him unlikable to some readers. Having dealt with severe depression and past trauma myself, it was important to me not to glaze over the ugly parts of struggling with mental health.
I think it can be really easy to throw around terms like PTSD without knowing what it is like to live with with someone who suffers from it, or to live with it yourself. The irritability, the nightmares, the inability to relax and come out of fight-or-flight, the depression, the emotional disconnect and distancing, and for some people the desperation to do anything to avoid reminders of the traumatic event which could trigger a flashback or episode.
Throughout A Songbird’s Tale, Jaren is literally forced to face his greatest fear. He is forced to experience triggers for his PTSD over and over and over. When his party died previously, they were all experienced monster hunters. Now he’s got to go back and fight the very monster that killed his family, and he has to do so with a completely naive woman who seems to have little to no self preservation instincts. He is so terrified of losing someone else and worse, terrified of being responsible for and unable to prevent that dead that he will do whatever he can to avoid having to face that possibility again. If that means distancing himself from people, if that means being mean and trying to push people who love him away, if that means not going to save the world, if that means trying to scare Songbird off by being mean and hateful to her, if it works to keep history from repeating itself, then its worth it, no matter how unlikable it makes him.
In short, he struggles to uphold his inner moral values in the face of the symptoms of his past trauma, and for a long time he does a terrible job of it. Because he’s human. He’s trying his best just like the rest of us, and we don’t always get it right. Songbird sees the good in him that he’s buried way down deep, and loves him even despite the darkness he struggles with. We should all be so lucky to have someone who loves us so unconditionally.
I think a lot of this is coming to the surface because I’m currently doing some coursework on PTSD and how to help people work through past trauma in a healthy way.
As such I’ve been thinking a lot about how Jaren is going to grow between books and what he’ll still struggle with in the second book. I’m going to do my best to stay true to his character and make sure the arc I have planned for him honors his journey of moving past the traumatic events of his life. Jaren is fiercely protective and has a lot of love to give, if he’ll just allow himself to be vulnerable again. Which is always easier said than done. I hope I can do the story I have imagined for him justice on paper. Even if means he’s not everyone’s favorite character.
Till next time dear reader. Remember that there is so much going on with people that we never get to see. We only ever get the tip of the ice berg, and we never see just how deep the things people struggle with run, so remember to be kind. <3 Tiff
