Success Amnesia
I’ve been told that a Goldfish only has a memory span of about 5 minutes. I have no idea if this true or not, but it makes a good jumping point for my post today. Sometimes I’m a Goldfish.
Many times I struggle with feeling like I’ve never really accomplished much, or that I’m always falling shot of where I want to be.
Dustin and I have often talked about how our brains have a tendency to recalibrate as soon as we’ve achieved a goal. I struggle with this a lot, not just in writing. Ran a half marathon? So what. Anyone can do that. Got a muscle up in the gym? So what? Tons of CrossFit Athletes and gymnasts do that kind of thing all the time, its a skill anyone can learn. Wrote a manuscript? No one cares. ANYONE CAN DO THAT. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Don’t play the comparison game. No one wins. I should really write a post about that sometime. But, I digress.)
So, in essence, the above statements aren’t necessarily wrong. Yes, technically the vast majority of people can do what you just did, but how many people will actually get up off their butt and do it? Not many. A big part of the problem comes from only looking at the part of the bell curve ahead of where you are.
It’s important to occasionally look back and see how far you’ve come from where you started. If you’re Doing The Thing, you’re probably already ahead of 84% of the population, simply by taking action. If you’ve been practicing and working at it for some time, then that number goes up.
As soon as I have accomplished a goal, my brain tends to automatically disregard it as the new status quo; it’s now ordinary. I have a tendency to be overly forward thinking, I’m constantly planning the next thing. Rather than celebrating an achievement, I immediately cast it aside and start striving towards the next. This isn’t inherently bad. Because of this I tend to really maintain a lot of forward momentum… until the weight feeling like I haven’t accomplished anything bogs me down and I feel like giving up because I don’t think I’m making progress. Enter: Success Amnesia.
It is really important to take time to celebrate your success, not matter how small. Phil told me the other day to really stop and take time to savor in the satisfaction of making something cool before showing it to the world. Phil tells me “My creative work is for me.” In essence, the fact that other people like his work is just an added bonus. To take this a step further, my husband recommends keeping a victory log. (I did this on the one year anniversary of starting my book, check it out here).
If you don’t take the time to celebrate your achievements, or take any time to be retrospective to see how far you’ve come, you’ll get stuck in this miserable place of feeling like you’re not making any progress. Speaking from experience, I tend to get stuck there often. These negative feelings are great at making you feel worthless, making you feel like you want to give up, and ultimately wrecking your momentum.
Some of this isn’t really our fault. Our brains are hardwired to look for negative things, to predict potential threats before they become a threat. Our brains want to find those negatives so they can protect us from them, so they focus on them much more than anything positive. “Oh, something happy, I know that won’t kill me so let’s disregard, set it aside, and keep looking for danger.” Silly brain.
All this to say. If you don’t actively take time to pat yourself on the back and say “Hey, good job, self. Nice work there. Let’s remember this next time we feel like we’re not making progress.” you’re going to be like that Goldfish who forgets everything instantaneously. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve put a lot of hard work into reaching your goals. Celebrate that! And even if you have done something that your brain tells you is ordinary… well so what!? It’s something you set out to do and you did it. That makes it worth celebrating. Some days even just getting out of bed is worth celebrating.
Maybe you set out to do something you’ve never done before, and you’ve finally made it. (Or maybe you have done it before, but it was challenging so you wanted to do it again) Either way, It’s a personal victory. Revel in your sense of accomplishment for a while, don’t just toss it aside. Even if it’s a small win which is part of a larger goal. Write that shit down so you can come back to it later when you’re feeling blue and say to yourself “Hell yeah, look at all the things I DID accomplish. I am a bad ass.”
You, dear reader, are a bad ass. Never forget that.
Until next time, don’t be like a goldfish. Make a victory log so you can be like the elephant who never forgets! Take some time to celebrate your success this week! <3 Tiff
P.S. I went down the “Google Rabbit Hole” and I found out that Goldfish actually have incredible memories, to the point where scientists use them as a baseline when studying other fish behavior. They can apparently learn and remember things for weeks, months, even years! Who knew?!
